I try to be kinder
I try to be happier
I try to fulfill my responsibilities
I try to be an extrovert
I try to be your version of good
I try to fix myself
I try to be the version of myself that you have in your head.
I try to be the perfect daughter
I try to be the perfect sister
I try to be the perfect granddaughter
I try to be the best in all those relationship positions
That women are often associated with.
In the process of trying to be all this for you,
I failed in the responsibility to myself.
Now I might be who you want,
But this is never the me I wanted.
Overly self-conscious, insecure
You might have wanted what’s good for me,
But all that pressure over the years,
Might have formed a diamond for the outside world,
But only a hollow rock for myself.